“Uff…I m so tired!!! Need a break. I am exhausted…” As I murmur these words to myself, I know that I cannot afford to take a break which I really need. Well, I wish I could at least say to myself “Just go and get some sleep buddy. You are gonna be just fine”. I am afraid that this tiredness is more mental than physical.
My shoulders are stooping due to the burden of Loan EMI’s, Paybacks, rents, various bills that I have accumulated. Life has started revolving around one mean non-living thing which dictates. It has the power to break or make relations, make us God and much more. “MONEY – The more you have it, the better “
I have lost a fair share of my youth running behind money, doing something just for sake of getting paid. I don’t know till when I am going to continue with this ‘crime towards myself’. Many would ask me it’s not even a decade you have started working or neither have you any third world problems like “I cannot buy food because I have no money. Then why should you be tired?” I still can’t figure out an answer to these questions. But all I know is I am exhausted running this race. The competition is with my family, my known ones, the society and finally me. The factors like my ‘Parents expectations’, ‘Run for social status to get a fair treatment among them’ and finally some expectations that I have of myself.
One thing that this rectangular piece of paper has achieved throughout these years is that it can buy you almost everything. Few things that stand excluded from this list for me shall be some experiences like meeting a good pal after two decades or going back to the school after a long time with our school mates. Apart from some simple joys, Money can buy almost everything in life, may it be a super car or a super model girlfriend (or vice-versa). As an icing on the cake, it can keep you away from troubles like cops, law and whatever. Isn’t that enough for people like you and me to give their lives for this piece of paper?
Life without money would have been much complicated I guess. People of same financial status, major barrier removed between people and as a matter of fact between countries. Life would have been easier. But in defense, I could say that everyone would have been lazy and doing nothing big. I need to respect the fact that the world is in this form because of the race for money. We have forgotten to respect our feelings, learnt to kill our emotions, learnt to give excuses to our families and near-ones, differentiate people based on their financial capability to achieve great excellence in technology, build a newer and never before world which looks near perfect, inventions and discoveries that challenge the Lord himself. I am still unsure whether to praise all these achievements or hurl abuses at them.
As a normal being, my needs and wants are also endless. They never seem to meet satisfaction. I have a weird feeling that these two are like day and night, they are not meant to meet each other. The more the money I earn, the more are my wants. In short, I can see the horizon called satisfaction from the shore I am standing. What separates me from the horizon is a distant water body which consists of never ending needs, wants, expectations etc. The day I reach the destination horizon is the day I give rest to my tired body, mind and soul. But personally I know no one who has reached this destination.
While I compile this, I remember that I need to get some sleep before I rejoin work tomorrow. As long as the roar of V8 and V12 engines excites me, the mere sight of Super bikes raise my heartbeats and makes my knees tremble and go weak and travel bug that keeps biting me often, I am sure I will carry on cheating myself but just with a wholehearted prayer that My Lord will soon reach me to my HORIZON.
copied from my blog : anooppillaiz.blogspot.ae