My Mask too fine and serene,
My smile ugly, words worthless
The mask is torn to pieces
Still I wear a self conscious laugh….
These words were my cover picture for a long time in Facebook. I don’t know when I changed these words with a Royal Enfield. It was at least a year or more, that I had come across these words and I then totally failed to recall about it later. My inquisitive senses waked up seeing a post on her again in Facebook some days back and again a fan page forher in Facebook today. I had read about Nanditha the day I had seen the above words. But some how I revitalized my search today.
The above words had hidden downheartedness and kind of grief linked within them.
The same was the case with most of her poems. It was either filled with isolation, love and heartbreak, dejection, depression.
She was Nanditha. Born in Kerala at a place called Wayanad which is very close to Tamil Nadu and Karnataka. The first thing that strikes me about the place is its serene beauty. Like the beautiful words she used to base her writings on. I just wanted to share with my small bunch of fellow bloggers, some facts about her and pay her a small homage as I can.
Born in 1969, she has long list of educational qualifications. She had done her M.Phil in Chennai and worked as a teacher in an Arts and Science college at her place. She committed suicide in the year 1999 for a reason unknown even today.
The irony here is that none of her poems were meant to be published. She used to jot it down in her diary. These poems were later published posthumous in 2002. Only those written from 1985 to 1993 were found and published, none of her writings after 1993 were found. It is said that her first composition came at the age of 16. The main content of her composition were shattered bones, burnt hair and flesh and death.
Nanditha based most of her compositions on emotions of love, loneliness and death. I can’t help thinking that somewhere down the line she understood these feelings so well that she could convey them very well through her writings. Her language would be mostly Malayalam and English. She was bold enough that she wouldn’t live a fake life wearing a mask. There were many articles linking her as the subject but reaching nowhere. Some of it has mentions of her falling in love, which nobody is sure of. Also in one of the articles I happened to read that she was married.
I wanted to translate one of her poems, but who am I kidding. I won’t be doing justice to it. Hence all those who enjoy poems and understand Malayalam can buy it or search online for some are available there.
Even today I find many people running behind her mystery, others writing about knowing her personally but to me this article is a tribute to her compositions. The beauty of her compositions reveal her unmatched talent.
PS : All the details about her is from google search. Credits to respective owners.
EDIT : Today while Maniparna commented on this long lost post, I again launched a small hunt for Nanditha’s poem and I found a blog dedicated to the same. I can’t thank the owner of that blog more for creating and posting her compositions. All credits and rights to the owner of the blog. I am just sharing it. Read it here.