The fastest way of commuting on an Express way!

This is a sarcastic post (meant to be). If some of you is going to take it seriously, then two words for you…… Don’t do! πŸ˜€


How many of you have traveled on an Express way? The one with 8 lanes or more, connecting two cities for an extended distance. Raise your hands, will you?

OK, if you have raised your hands, lets go to the second question. How many of you drive on the fast lane of the Express way often? The fast lane is one near the center divider, which has the street lights and some road furniture. Raise your hands again.

Moving on to the third and final question, if you have a raised both your hands for both the questions. What speed do you drive on the fast lane? Grrrr! Is it way below the speed limit, or at least close to the speed limit? If you didn’t raise your hands for this one and raised your hands twice for the previous question, let me refresh your memory with a traffic lesson.

‘Driving fast in a slow lane is as fatal as driving slow in a fast lane.’Β On the first day of my theory classes, I was enlightened by the trainer who probably doesn’t follow any traffic rules in real life. But still people cease to understand that the fast lanes are for driving exactly at the permissible speed limit or a bit over it. I was pondering in Whatsapp group along with my other friends on what could be the possible reason for all the people or their cars to fall in love with the fast lane. Are they giving away free cheese sandwiches in that lane? Not that I know of a technology that can shove a sandwich up the drivers throat when he is at a 140. If that is not the case then, is there a permanent magnet or something that pulls the tires towards the fast lane?

Then why people,Β why? Why do you drive at an 80 in a lane meant to be driven at a 140? Do you not know that there are people waiting behind you. Some of their children are just about to be eaten by crocodiles which escaped the near-by zoo after eating the zoo warden and those young children need to be saved, some of their mother-in-law’s are suffering from gastric problems and if the medicine is not delivered in time then the night would be wasted fighting a household battle and some other people like me who swear by the name of God that I will never let those horses loose yet end up doing so in the motorway cos some stupid car just cut my lane and I want to teach him a lesson by making him feel miserable by tailgating him, flashing at him continously and making him move to the other lane.

The world is full of problems and you ought to help others solve their problems. At least leave way for them to solve their own problems.

Solution:

Now I/we (my friends) is/are not one of those who just points out a problem and leaves it there. We can provide our ownΒ solutions to the mass and govt., you see πŸ˜€

  • Provide free availability of our most necessary basic requirement aka WiFi and limit it to the slowest lane only. Let people swarm in the slowΒ lane like fire flies.
  • Build wax statues of swim-suit models (both men and women) near the pavement next to the slowest lane. These people travelling at slow speed can take all their sweet time in the world to enjoy the wax statues.
  • Allow cars to be installed with machine gun turrets and see the difference. I don’t even want to talk about this one.
  • Last but not the least, drive at a 140 in a slow lane and you most probably might not encounter any traffic because everyone is already in the fast lane.

With that rather useful bombshell, it’s time to wind up this bs. Good night!


 

 

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25 thoughts on “The fastest way of commuting on an Express way!”

    1. There are lot of cases where the car tires burst. Various reasons like worn out tires or the climate. You will damage your alloy wheels badly and if you are above 180 then you probably will do a flip πŸ˜‰

      1. yes..it just reminded me the accident on the fast track highway due to tire burst in last year,which causes the collision of about 12 cars!!

      2. no no. its not that actually …Because the AD accident had occurred before at least 5-6 years..!! Ohh !! Actually ,AD accident was the biggest …including more than 50+ car crash..& 100+ people involved .terrible!!!

      3. Yeah, that was the biggest of it’s kind. I don’t remember reading about this accident also. I might have missed it.

  1. *raises hand* I poke my nose out of the window because I ALWAYS have someone to drive me around πŸ˜€ I have successfully managed to avoid learning how to drive πŸ˜›

    1. Great! Sometimes it saves you a lot of frustration and heart ache. Trust me even hear swears from granny’s can break your heart, lol.

  2. This is a very hilarious post Anoop! I had a lot of fun reading it πŸ˜‰ β€˜Driving fast in a slow lane is as fatal as driving slow in a fast lane.’ is a golden line of your post. Although I don’t drive, I truly understand how it feels. πŸ˜€

    Same here Prajakta having someone to drive me around to avoid learning to drive. πŸ˜›

  3. Your first rant about driving in the UAE, Anoop? πŸ˜€

    After all the time I spent there, I still think that driving in the Middle east is a lot less stressful than driving here in India.

    All the chaos and utter buffoonery on the roads, it’s like GTA in real life. πŸ˜›

    1. Hey,

      Yeah. It was funny how I came up with this. Just started a casual talk in our Whatsapp group and then here we are. lol

      In India, we expect chaos but here we don’t. Actually it’s better that India here man. Way better. You will understand with my next post πŸ˜€

  4. I agree with you – me as a regular commuter of two cities, sometimes frustrated with drivers who drive slow on the fast lane…you made your point, it is dangerous..

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