This post is meant to be sarcastic and I can guarantee that this post will have couple of strong words, just a couple. If my post hurts someone’s feeling….ooopps!
I love Volkswagen. I really do.
I wanted to start this post with these lines because my car is VW and I love it. To VW as a company, I don’t give a f**k. They can go to hell. So much for pricey parts, thug customer relations and whatever else. I never had to step back into their dealership ever. When did I step into their dealership in the first place? Never. Even their technicians say proudly that we are too expensive for you to afford us. Well, the US govt will be more expensive now I guess.
I cannot believe that right after college days when I dropped my CV at your showroom, I was not even allowed to meet the HR. How rude! How dare you do that? How dare do you corrupt people throw a CV of an honest man in the dust bin?
But whatever said or done, if I were US govt, I would have first honored you guys for having brilliant engineers on-board. You guys deserve an award and I sincerely would have acknowledged your engineering team first, before slapping that 20 billion USD fine or whatever the amount equates to. If I could have a brain transplant, I would choose a German brain to go with my Indian body.
So I hope that someone is going to get fired from VW? so do you want me now? Yes, I may not be the most technical guy or rather I’ll be the least technical guy but hell yeah, I can teach you a lesson or two about honesty, and not getting your a** wacked by the US govt. The principle is simple, just don’t over-engineer your car and fix it with too much of electronic sensor’ical’ gizmos and finally when caught don’t accept that you installed the defeat device. Just do like the Indian politicians do; they will watch porn and when caught they will say, that was a part of sex education for ministers. Ministers don’t be offended, I would have done the same. Who wants to sit in that stupid building listen to bullshit spoken by other ministers all day long. I am glad you guys used your time wisely.
So coming back to the point, VW are you ready for a brain swap? With a heavy heart, I’ll part my brains for a good German one if that is the only way to save your company’s future… to make things there a bit more honest. I am sure you guys don’t give a shit about that, but I got to do what I got to do. I love you guys *sob sob. My brain is exactly like your car, all of it won’t work all the times and some of it will work sometimes, and it’s honest like your car, the GTI drives without any drama whatsoever. So deal?
Once again…Love you VW! Mwaaah….