(The post contains use of strong words and lots of BS… Disclaimer)
Quarter past midnight and we were still lying on the shore of a fancy beach in Goa, eyes wide open but unable to move an inch. Probably nervous breakdown from all the spirit that entered our system. We were surrounded by darkness but lights from the bar, which was the only hope if sea decided to play a prank. Me and two other childhood friends, Goa, alcohol, beach…After drinking like a fish, I am more than glad to quote a few bits from the midnight musings of three drunk men.
‘We fucked up our lives, didn’t we?’ I asked.
‘Royally’ the one to my right replied
‘This is life, we have too much expectations. We are bound to fuck up’ the one to my left replied
We knew each other so well from school days, so much that we shared our thoughts, dreams, fears and sorrows with each other.
‘You guys know what, I was wondering… how the hell can we be in a position that we are today? Not knowing what next, no concrete aims in life… we are a fucking joke!’ I commented.
‘Three and a half decades wasted and still counting’ the voice from the right
‘Life is uncertain, that’s how it is. We all live in a hope’ the voice from the left
Me, ‘That’s very hopeful indeed. Remember in school we used to say….wait till college and I’ll enjoy my life. Then college happened and it sucked sweaty donkey’s balls and we were hopeful that once we land ourselves into a job, our world will change. Around a decade of working and life has never been more pathetic. Now what? Wait for after life I guess? or next life maybe?’
‘Next life, we won’t get human birth, that’s guaranteed.’ the one to my right replied
‘At least we have a job and we earn to support ourselves. Not everyone is lucky to have a job in life.’ the one to my left said.
‘The spark is missing in our lives. Hence we make it to the millions, millions who don’t know what to live for, millions who think being slave is fine. I would rather be dead and gone for ever instead of living like that. Forever in the realms of memories. Memories that fade away with time. Time that waits for no man or no machine. Men and machine who share this world to themselves. A world that favors rich. Rich that make the millions of common people look like morons. The millions who don’t know what to live for…….
See, life is a vicious circle.’
The next morning I was woken up by a life guard who was doing rounds at the beach. I looked besides, no one to be found. I wondered if they left without me, or were they with me last night at all? I don’t know….
I picked myself up and walked back. All I needed was a spark.
Years later, I still wander in search of a spark plug…