I sat in my shady room of a distant guest house not knowing what next. The ceiling fan above squeaked as it rotated in slow pace.
In my younger days, I used to run faster than this ceiling fan. I thought.
It’s late night or rather early morning. I could go out but that wouldn’t cure my thoughts. The streets wouldn’t be empty. The street leading to Baga Beach is never empty. There was something else that concerned me. Those thoughts have been within me for a good number of years. Somehow I have learnt to live with it, knowing that someday or the other they will be a source of constant trouble in my life.
Later on I left my room for the more vibrant street. The street was lively. Plenty of happy, beautiful, peaceful and smiling faces to look at. The steady pace of the crowd tagged me along. I walked with the crowd, looking at the various shops, lights…. green, amber, blue.
Where the street ended, the sands started. The crowd had already dispersed on the way. I was once again alone to walk those sands. Soon I stood a few feet away from the beach. There is this thing about standing on the shore of a beach. You hear the waves and that’s it. The sound is constant. The sound is special. It directly appeals to the soul. It’s music, relaxing and you can lose yourself in thoughts for hours together.
But it is also a realization. Realization that this is the end of the road you traveled. This is all that road can take you. There is nothing more you can do, no further you can go. You have taken all the effort to reach here and this is where the effort ends. Basically it’s a realization that you cannot go beyond this. All you see is the vast water body and a horizon. All you are left with is a question,
The sooner you find an answer, the sooner you can get back and start working on the next best thing you think is worthy of your time. If you do not have an answer, you stay there thinking about the ways to best handle the situations going back. You will be lucky if at all you can find an answer because the road leads no further. There is no going forward from here in search of answers.
A beach visit; can be a pleasant memory for most, but a journey to nothing for some.
(Subject in the image and inspiration for the post: A dear friend)